Do you ever feel that your life is really inadequate and dull? Not blog-worthy? I sometimes do.
I was so preoccupied with life last week that I kind of forgot it was midsummer. I sometimes make a Swedish summer cake with custard and strawberries, but since it was just Angus and I, and he doesn't like strawberries and I'm on a diet, it hardly seemed worth it. So, with John working late shifts and Bella away, it was just the two of us, pottering around together. He did not stop talking all weekend. Chatter, questions, thoughts, more questions. One child is easier - less toys out, less mess, less juggling, less of the two children talking at you at exactly the same time, both wanting instant answers. One child is also harder - no playmate, no one to go off and build dens with, just Mummy as the source of all entertainment and conversation. So there was no Midsummer barbecue, drinks with friends, none of that. The trouble with blogland and Instragram is that, if you're not careful, you can feel that EVERYONE but you is having an amazing time in their amazing campervan/yurt/allotment/garden/park at a lovely event with golden setting sun, wildflower posies, organic sausages, bunting, cocktails in jam jars (Why the jam jars? What's that about?) while you are lying on the sofa watching The Good Wife in your tracksuit bottoms.
So what did we do? On Saturday I had a very nice pub lunch with my friend Kate while Angus played at a friend's house. It was extra lovely for the absence of little people; it felt a bit naughty, like we were bunking off. Three hours of Saturday afternoon were stolen by the ironing pile but, just for a day, that ironing basket is empty which makes me feel that I'm doing something right and gives me a nice smug feeling. I was slack about bedtime and let Angus play for much longer than usual while I sat in the garden enjoying the evening sun and taking photos of the flowers.
We spent this morning in the garden, pottering and tidying up. I picked some flowers (sparingly - we don't have many!) and put them in a jam jar. Yes, a jam jar. They are for jam and flowers, not cocktails. Then, when we were finished and scrubbed clean, I put a tablecloth on the outdoor table, plonked the flowers down on the table, and Angus and I had lunch out there. Nothing fancy - chicken salad for me, cheese and crackers for him - but I needed to feel like I'd made an effort, done something celebratory. Then we got the bus into town (we got the best seats - top deck, right at the front) and went to the Lego shop then had coffee and cake. And now I'm sitting here taking stock of my weekend and thinking that it wasn't so bad, and now Bella is home from Brownie Camp (suntanned and filthy, she loved it) and John is home from work, now that I have my favourite people all around me - it all feels right in my little corner of the world.